From Survival Mode to Peace of Mind...Dealing with your Dysfunction!
Having the courage to admit your flaws and confront your role in the dysfunction of your life takes real courage! Last week I had the honor of hosting the fiercely bold Tray Kearney on my Protected by Purpose podcast. Not only did she put in the work, Tray used her personal experience to give back by becoming a certified life and relationship coach, author and speaker.
We had a very fearless and transparent conversation as Tray discussed the dysfunction from her childhood that she carried into her marriage. That dysfunction led her to take part in an infidelity that shattered her life, impacted her children and brought her to her breaking point.
According to data from the recent General Social Survey, among married adults ages 18 to 29, women are slightly more likely than men to be guilty of infidelity (11% vs. 10%). Infidelity for both men and women increases during the middle ages. Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity at (16%).
There’s a quote by Thema Davis that says, “Refuse to inherit dysfunction. Learn new ways of living instead of repeating what you lived through.” It sounds easy, but there are so many people struggling to take ownership and admit their contribution and the role they play in the dysfunction that serves as a barrier to peace and joy in their lives.
What I learned from our conversation is that Tray’s path to infidelity was symptomatic of a larger issue to which many of us can relate. It was growing up in a loving, yet dysfunctional household due to her mother’s struggle with addiction. When you grow up in dysfunction it becomes your “norm” impacting every decision and relationship in your life.
Although, I am fortunate not to have ever experienced infidelity in my marriage, I could relate to the behavior and mindset that led to Tray’s decisions. The blessing in Tray’s story is that she had the courage, resiliency, determination and faith to face her demons. She took control and owned her part in the chaos she created to not only rebuild, but to use her life lessons and experience as the motivation to give back to others in a significant way! She is one brave and phenomenal woman!
Peace and blessings,